🥈 The Privilege of Being Second

I was talking to my mom some time ago about what I called the privilege of being second.

I don't remember exactly when we had the conversation, but the thought has stayed with me.

There are areas of my life where, if I compared myself to other people, I could easily feel behind. I've watched people become homeowners. I've watched people build businesses. I've watched people get married, raise families, establish careers, and experience things I desire for my own life.

There was a time when looking at those things could have produced embarrassment or shame.

Why am I not there yet?

Why hasn't this happened for me?

How much further along would I be if things had gone differently?

But somewhere along the way, I began seeing my position differently.

I began recognizing the privilege of being second.

Being second means I've gotten to see.

I've gotten to watch people have and do some of the things I desire. I've gotten to see what worked and what didn't. I've gotten to see what produced peace and what produced strain. I've gotten to see things that looked successful from the outside but weren't necessarily fruitful.

Most importantly, I've had the opportunity to take what I've seen and hold it up against the Word of God.

What are His thoughts about this?

What is His will?

What is His desire?

What was His intention?

I don't simply want a house. I have had time to think about what it means to build a home.

I don't simply want a business. I want whatever I build to be fruitful, to replenish, and to reflect the intention of the One who gave me the garden to tend.

I don't simply want to be married. I've had time to think about covenant, peace, love, friendship, submission to one another, and what it means for two people to become one.

I've had the privilege of watching before possessing.

And maybe what I've called waiting has also been learning.

Isaiah 48:17 says:

“I am the LORD thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go.”

There is teaching in the journey.

Sometimes we become so concerned about when we will arrive that we fail to recognize what God is allowing us to see along the way.

We call ourselves behind because somebody else got there first.

But behind assumes we're all running the same race, on the same timetable, by the same route, toward the same destination.

Maybe we're not.

David Was Behind Seven Brothers

Before David ever appears in the biblical story, Samuel is sent to the house of Jesse to anoint the king God has chosen.

Jesse brings his sons before Samuel.

One.

Then another.

Then another.

Seven sons pass before him.

None of them is the one.

Finally Samuel asks Jesse:

“Are here all thy children?”

There is still one more.

The youngest.

David.

He's out keeping the sheep.

Think about that.

David is so far behind his brothers that when the prophet comes looking for one of Jesse's sons, nobody initially bothers to bring him into the room.

Yet Samuel says:

“Send and fetch him: for we will not sit down till he come hither.”

I love that.

Everybody who appeared to be ahead of David eventually had to wait for David.

David wasn't behind.

David was exactly where he was when God called his name.

And maybe that's something somebody needs to hear.

You aren't necessarily behind because someone arrived somewhere before you.

Their arrival doesn't determine your timing.

Their marriage doesn't determine yours.

Their house doesn't determine yours.

Their business doesn't determine yours.

Their success doesn't establish the schedule for your life.

There is no shame in being the eighth son when God knows exactly where you are.

Joseph Looked Behind Too

Imagine Joseph sitting in prison.

His brothers were free.

They had families.

They were living their lives while Joseph sat incarcerated in a foreign country.

From the outside, Joseph could have looked terribly behind.

But Joseph wasn't behind.

Joseph was being positioned.

The prison wasn't the conclusion of his story. Somehow, the very circumstances that appeared to have taken years from Joseph's life were being worked into the fulfillment of what God had shown him.

That changes the way I look at my own life.

Romans 8:28 says:

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God…”

If I believe that, then even the years that appear to have put me behind have to submit to good.

What looked like lost time can become wisdom.

What looked like being overlooked can become observation.

What looked like waiting can become preparation.

What looked like being last can give me the privilege of seeing.

The Last Shall Be First

Today, while thinking about all of this, I found another way of understanding something Jesus said:

“So the last shall be first, and the first last.”

In Matthew 20, Jesus tells a parable about a landowner who goes out to hire laborers for his vineyard.

Some begin working early in the morning.

Others come later.

Some don't arrive until the eleventh hour.

Those people are undeniably behind.

They haven't worked as long as everybody else. They haven't accomplished as much. There isn't enough time left in the day for them to catch up.

And yet, when the landowner begins paying the workers, the ones who arrived last receive the same amount as those who had been there all day.

They didn't catch up.

The goodness of the landowner made catching up irrelevant.

That's what struck me.

Maybe I've spent too much time measuring where I am against where somebody else is when God's goodness toward me was never determined by somebody else's timeline.

The landowner asks:

“Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?”

There it is.

Because I am good.

The story ultimately reveals something about the heart of the One who owns the vineyard.

The person who arrived at the eleventh hour didn't receive because he somehow figured out how to squeeze twelve hours of labor into one.

He received because the owner was good.

Maybe that's the freedom somebody needs today.

You don't have to catch up.

You don't have to make your life happen faster because somebody else appears to be ahead of you.

You don't have to carry shame because you're still waiting for something you thought you would have by now.

Maybe there is privilege in being second.

You get to see.

You get to learn.

You get to watch.

You get to discover what matters and what doesn't.

You get to allow your desires to mature.

You get to hold what you've seen against the Word of God and ask what His intention was from the beginning.

And when your time comes, you don't have to arrive carrying the desperation of someone trying to make up for lost years.

You can arrive knowing that even the waiting was working for your good.

Maybe You Aren't Behind

I don't know what you're waiting for.

Maybe it's marriage.

Maybe it's a house.

Maybe it's children.

Maybe it's a business.

Maybe it's financial stability.

Maybe it's an opportunity you've prayed about for years.

Maybe you look around and everybody seems to have arrived while you're still standing somewhere along the road.

Don't despise where you're standing.

Look around.

What have you gotten to see?

What have you learned?

What has changed about what you desire?

What do you know about God now that you didn't know when you first started asking Him for it?

Maybe the waiting hasn't been empty.

Maybe you've been learning the whole time.

Maybe what you thought was a delay has been preparation.

Maybe what looked like lost time has been producing wisdom.

Maybe being second has given you something the person who went first couldn't have:

the privilege of seeing.

I no longer have to look at somebody else's life and think, Look how far behind I am.

I can look at everything God has allowed me to see and say:

Look at everything He's been teaching me before He gives it to me.

The last doesn't have to spend his life desperately trying to catch the first.

The goodness of God makes catching up irrelevant.

So if you feel behind today, don't be ashamed of where you are.

You may not be watching everybody pass you.

You may simply be getting to see.

And that is the privilege of being second.