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😬 Cringe Worthy

Today, I had one of those moments.

A memory surfaced—
 something from my past… something I’ve done…

…and I cringed.

Not lightly. Not casually.
 It hit me.

The kind of memory that tries to come with a feeling—
 shame.

The kind that whispers:

  • “You really did that.”

  • “Look at who you were.”

  • “You don’t deserve another chance.”

It came to pull me back.

But It Didn’t Work

Before I could sit in it…
 before I could agree with it…

something rose up in me:

📖 Book of Ezekiel 36:31

“Then shall ye remember your own evil ways… and shall loathe yourselves…”

That word stopped me:

“Then…”

Which means—

this isn’t where the story starts.

So I went back.

Looking Back, I Didn’t Just See Me

I saw Him.

📖 Ezekiel 36:21

“But I had pity for mine holy name…”

A people who profaned His name.
 A people who failed.

But God didn’t begin with their failure.

He began with His name.

And Then He Declared What He Would Do

📖 Ezekiel 36:25–30

  • I will cleanse you

  • I will give you a new heart

  • I will put My Spirit within you

  • I will cause you to walk differently

  • I will save you

  • I will multiply you

Not suggestions.

Not conditions.

Declarations.

So When I Came Back to Verse 31…

It hit different.

“Then shall ye remember…”

That moment—the cringe, the memory, the feeling—

wasn’t pulling me back.

It was locating me.

It revealed where I actually am:

  • after cleansing

  • after a new heart

  • with His Spirit at work in me

What Came to Condemn… Was Overturned

Shame came with an assignment:

to devour

But it didn’t finish the job.

Instead, it got flipped.

Like the lion that jumped on Samson in Book of Judges 14—
 only to later have something sweet found in it.

Like the gallows Haman built for Mordecai in Book of Esther—
 only to be hung on them himself.

That’s What Happened to Me

Shame came to pull me back into my past—

but it was overturned.

Instead of condemning me,
 it revealed something:

I’m seeing my past from a place of cleansing.

And if I’m seeing from that place…

Then God Has Already Started Something

📖 Ezekiel 36:32

“Not for your sakes do I this…”

So even the feeling doesn’t get to define the moment.

Because this was never about:

  • my worthiness

  • my perfection

  • my ability to keep a promise

This has always been about:

who He is

And Where This Is Going

📖 Ezekiel 36:33–35

  • Desolate places rebuilt

  • Waste restored

  • Barren land made fruitful

  • What was empty becoming like the Garden of Eden

This isn’t just forgiveness.

This is restoration.

And God Gets the Glory

📖 Ezekiel 36:36

“I the LORD have spoken it, and I will do it.”

Not partially.

Completely.

🪶 Final Word

I felt the shame.

But I didn’t stay there.

Because what came to condemn me—

revealed me.

It showed me I wasn’t being pulled back…

I was recognizing from a place of cleansing.

And if I’m in that place—

then He has already begun His work in me…
 and He is faithful to complete it.

We don’t have to run from those moments anymore. When they come, let’s not stop at the feeling—go back and see what He has done, what He is doing, and what He has promised to complete. Let the memory point us, not to condemnation, but to His work. Let it lift our eyes off of ourselves and onto Him. Because if we can see it this way, then we’re not where we were—we’re somewhere in the middle of restoration. And if He has begun it, then we already know how it ends. 

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