I’ve had conversations with people who didn’t grow up in broken homes or spend years in prison, but who still carry feelings about what they didn’t get from their parents. The impulse is always the same: I want to give my children what I didn’t have. That’s understandable and even good—but what if that’s not what they really need?
When I think back on my own life, I see how the things I lacked—the father figure, stability, love, and structure—shaped me deeply. I went to fifteen different schools before sixth grade. I grew up in a violent, drug-ridden neighborhood. My father battled addiction. And from the age of 15 until 29, I was in and out of jail, with my longest stretch being 11 years straight. All of that had an effect on my mind, my worldview, and my belief system.
But here’s the revelation: God has a way of working all things together for good. What the enemy meant for destruction becomes the very material God uses for construction. When the earth was formless, void, and covered in darkness, God used that very chaos as the canvas to create His masterpiece—culminating in mankind, made in His image. The same pattern plays out in our lives.
That’s why I love Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith. It doesn’t only highlight the victories of the strong—it celebrates the weak: “who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.” These were captives, wanderers, and the overlooked—yet they are remembered forever because they trusted God. Their weakness was not wasted; it was transformed into strength through faith.
The same is true for us. Parenting isn’t a formula where we simply give our children what we lacked. It’s an act of trust—believing that God is at work in their unique journey, just as He was in ours. Sometimes the very things we think disqualified us were the instruments God used to shape us. And in His sovereignty, mercy, and faithfulness, He knows how to bring beauty out of what felt like chaos.
This is the theme of my book, Enthroned Above the Circle of the Earth. It explores Genesis 1 and shows how God sits enthroned above the cycle He set in motion—how the formless and void conditions of our lives are not wasted, but part of His process to form us in His image. You can find it here: Enthroned Above the Circle of the Earth
Be encouraged: there really is a process. God is sovereign. He is gracious. He is merciful. He is slow to anger, abounding in love, and He is faithful. Whatever your story looks like—brokenness, lack, or weakness—it is not the end. In His hands, all things work together for your good.
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